How to Guard against Self-Doubt and Self-Sabotage
From both psychological and religious perspectives
When we fail to live up to our own standards, it is often a matter, not only of weakness, but of self-sabotage.
As depth psychologists like Carl Jung have discussed, our personalities consist of multiple subpersonalities. Those subpersonalities are not always in harmony. Much as individuals do, they vie for dominance.
When we make moral progress, we demote parts of ourselves, subordinating our desires to higher ideals. Sometimes those subpersonalities rebel against the new moral order within us. They do this by assailing us, not only with self-temptation, but with self-doubt. This can send us into a recursive spiral of self-indulgence, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, further self-indulgence for the sake of mood repair, et cetera.
This happens because the new regime (or new moral order) is not yet firmly installed. We are still conflicted: still chained to our old attachments. When we encounter setbacks, one of our rebellious subpersonalities will seize upon it as an excuse to give up. In his book Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, Jordan B. Peterson wrote about how this can happen to a person:
He can also be brought to a halt by the weakest of arguments. One of his multiple, warring subpersonalities will latch on to such arguments, often contrary to his best interest, and use them, in the form of doubts, to buttress its contrarian position. A deeply conflicted person can therefore be stopped, metaphorically, with the pressure of a single finger exerted on his chest (even though he may lash out against such an obstacle).
In Christian tradition, the spirit of unjust rebellion and usurpation is called Satan. And the English word “devil” is derived from the Greek word for slanderer or false accuser.
So, whether or not you believe it is literally true, it is fitting and useful to think of self-destructive temptation and debilitating self-doubt as “Satanic” and diabolical in nature. Something within you is falsely accusing you of being too weak to live up to your ideals in order to undermine your confidence, all so that it itself can take you over.
How can we guard against such self-slander and backsliding? As Peterson wrote, to reconcile and rationalize our desires, we must fully subordinate them to an ideal:
To move forward with resolve, it is necessary to be organized—to be directed toward something singular and identifiable.
In monotheistic religious traditions, that ideal is God. Such devotion to the ideal creates inner harmony and peace, as Peterson wrote:
Then all the subsystems or subpersonalities that might otherwise be pursing their own limited fulfillment will join together under the aegis of the truly ideal, and the consequence of that will be an engagement that approximates the ultimate or total. Under such conditions, all the parts of you are going to be on board. That is the psychological equivalent of monotheism.
Thus, as Charles F. Stanley wrote in his book of devotionals Every Day in His Presence:
“Temptations and frustrations increase. And all the while, you’re bombarded with terrible thoughts of defeat and worthlessness.
Friend, you’re in a spiritual battle, and your enemy is trying to undermine your faith and impede your progress. Satan cannot destroy your soul, but he can demolish your effectiveness. And he does so by building strongholds in your life that influence your thoughts and actions—ultimately enslaving you to sin. Thus he renders you ineffective for the kingdom of God. Don’t fall for his trap.
Instead, defeat the enemy by declaring your trust in God. Allow the Lord to identify strongholds and deliver you from them. Remember who you are in Christ. The Lord is greater than any weapon the enemy can bring against you. So commit yourself to God wholeheartedly and let Him defend you.”
And as the Apostle Paul wrote:
“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”
EPHESIANS 6:10-13 KJV
This is wise counsel, whether you think of it in terms that are religious, psychological, or both.